On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
