I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
