His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
