boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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