I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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