She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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