good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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