her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
