wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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