I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
