And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
