guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Drake has all the answers
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
