Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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