It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
