i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's never too late to be topless.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
