i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
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I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
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He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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