i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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