Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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