he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
