I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
