found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
