I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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