Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
