One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
