No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
