I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
