So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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