Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
