If that was your dad, he is hot
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
