remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
sex in a hospital.. check
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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