Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
