the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
