Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i drank out of a bidet.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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