where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
