ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
