That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
