You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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