Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
