it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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