At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
