suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
