i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
