Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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