the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
