just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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