Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
