Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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