when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
