you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
