oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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