at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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