I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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