I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
