Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
