atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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